Some of you know this and some don't, but when I was 9 months old I had RSV and quit breathing. Obviously, I was quite young so I don't have any memories of this myself; so I'm going to share two different stories and some pictures. The first one will be a letter my mom wrote me in one of my baby books and the second is a letter my Aunt Pam wrote me shortly after the incident.
To my darling little daughter,
You may find it very hard to understand but you are truly a miracle, a living angel sent back to us from God. On November 22, 1985 I held you in my arms and life went out of you. You totally stopped breathing. No pulse. I went numb. Daddy took you to Grandpa Palmer's, I called an ambulance. I watched your Grandpa give you CPR to get you to breath. You were here then gone again. Your Grandfather kept you breathing til the ambulance got there. He helped save your life. Finally they were ready to take you to the hospital. April, I never felt so helpless in all my life knowing I could do nothing to help relieve your pain or hold you in my arms. It seemed like hours before the doctor finally came out and told us you were breathing, he had put a tube up your nose and down your throat, your esophagus had swollen shut from a virus called Respiratory Syncytial Virus. They were going to transport you to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. When we finally got to see you you were tied down, had IV's in your arm, tubes out your nose, EKG pads on your chest, and you were hooked to a respirator. You were in Intensive Care, for five long days we could not hold you, but Daddy and I were there the whole time. On November 26 they took your tube out of your nose hoping not to have to do a tracheotomy. We were lucky again, the swelling had gone down, you were going to be okay. They moved you out of intensive care that same day. The joy your father and I felt was the same as the day you were born and we were holding you for the first time. Needless to say, you were very glad to be free, to be able to move about. The next day they told you we could bring you home. I was very happy. April, I hope you will always know how very much we love you. We are very thankful God gave you back to us. I know he has a purpose for that. You will always be a very special little girl, a darling angel.
Love, Mom
Dear April,
I know at this time you won't be able to understand this, but your parents will. Maybe they will save it for you til you are old enough to understand. This morning I stood and watched while the doctors tried to save your life. I also stood and watched as your breathing stopped and your heart quickly became excruciatingly low, not even enough to sustain life. I knew that time had run out. It was going to be now or never. The airway tube would not go down through the blockage and I could see in their eyes they had all but given up hope that they could bring you back. I have never in my life felt so helpless. Then I thought of your Mom and Dad. I knew that this could not be meant to be. At that very moment, with my entire heart and soul, I begged God that if he never heard me before or never heard me again, to please, please hear and help me now. He was there and he heard! At that very moment the tube went down your throat and your airway was once again open. Almost immediately your heart rate began to rise. Now some would say that my prayer had nothing to do with it, but I'm telling you now that I saw you, I read the monitors. I knew that nothing short of a miracle would bring you back. I was never one to believe in miracles, but a miracle happened this night. Your Mom and Dad may never know just how lucky they were. I couldn't even look at them because I was afraid they would see in my eyes how bad it was. This is why I am sending you this birthday card, it was like after you left us, you were reborn. We can celebrate this day as your second chance. Always know that you are very loved, not only by your family, but by those who were there last night trying desperately to save your life. You are truly a special person, and I think you will have a special purpose in life. Live to the fullest, like there may never be a tomorrow. A very happy new birthday, this 22nd day of November and many, many more.
Love, Aunt Pam
So, this is what I'm thankful for. Without each and every one of these people directly involved in this story, none of this would exist. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to let me experience this.
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